About These Autumnal Holidays…
Given the current state of the election cycle–the commercials, the text messages, the emails, the door knocking grassroots campaigners, and even occasional phone calls–the Halloween decorations might be an exciting change of pace for many Americans (unless, of course, you see the opposing candidate’s yard sign as the spookiest of all decorations…).
Personally, it had for a long time been a holiday to which I had some indifference. I didn’t often dress up and didn’t really want the junk food inevitably laying around the house. It was never a view I cared to push on others, as life is too short not to jump into something (within reason) that many will enjoy. I often didn’t though.
Somewhere along the lines, my attitude toward the three-day span of holidays changed. It is probably because I put more emphasis on the 1st and 2nd of November. Both are heavily recognized holidays in the Catholic Church, and some of the services are particularly solemn–they are beautiful masses, actually, for those who care to attend.
On a personal level, when my mother passed away in 2018, my (then) girlfriend (and now wife) decided that it would be worthwhile to mirror, to some extent, what our Mexican friends do during this time of year.
For those not familiar with Dia De Los Muertos, it is worth checking out some of the extensive footage and documentary work out there on the celebration (check it out here for a taste of what it is like). This idea of celebrating life through death, or recognizing our dearly departed, or honoring our saints (those formally known and unknown) were all concepts with rich meaning to me. To do it in such a festive manner–complete with music, intricate food, and elaborate decor is something the Mexicans do at a superior level.
My mother left us long before most of us were ready, given her relatively young age. To a further degree though, we both had numerous departed relatives we wanted to honor. So we created our own ofrenda, lit candles and frankincense, invited some close relatives and friends over, and had a sort of celebration to honor them. In keeping with tradition, the guests of honor were of course the parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and close friends we were welcoming back from the hereafter for a visit.
Due to logistical constraints, we aren’t able to put together an extensive celebration every year, but I do in some way honor those close friends and relatives who have gone before me.
Mexico isn’t the only culture to have a rich celebration of honoring their departed relatives on the All Saint’ and All Souls’ Days. My country of heritage, Poland, is another country with rich traditions in this case (see a segment by Patrick Ney at this link). Known as Wszystkich Świętych and Dzień Zaduszny in Polish, these are usually more solemn celebrations but nonetheless relevant. It is undoubtedly a bucket list travel item to check out these celebrations one day, respectfully of course, as I have a deep appreciation for any culture which makes family a focal point.
I’m also not ignorant to some of the Pagan roots of what we know as Halloween. How Catholicism has woven in a recognition for the deceased has had substantial influence on some awesome celebrations throughout the world though.
I say all this to offer a piece of advice. If you are someone who is struggling with the loss of a loved one (and I don’t care how long ago the death occurred), do something over the next few days to recognize that person. Light a candle. Attend mass or a service otherwise if you are one of Catholic/Christian faith. I struggled mightily for a year or two to find peace with my mother’s passing but found my own interpretation of this celebration of life comforting. The idea of inviting a spirit into the home for a day (be it figurative or literal in your own beliefs) can lighten the emotional toll. Think of the fond memories. Think of the blessing that life really is if we harness it properly. It doesn’t need to be extensive. Pan de muerto, sugar skulls, all of it can be a little tedious given our otherwise busy schedules. Find what works for you though, and find an ounce or two of joy in it all.
Of course, throw on the costume, too. Throw a party. Do all the things that bring happiness to you in life; I find there to be some consistent spiritual meaning in all of that–even with the less secular celebrations which take place.
And yes, read some spooky literature. Edgar Allan Poe was my first love of sorts in terms of reading. I’ve read his work almost my entire life and will certainly be opening up the anthology (this one, for anyone interested) of his work that I own in the coming day or two to dive into something.
Blessings. -P.K.